後備情人 (a.k.a the Substitute Lover)

Sunday was spent quietly at home, was planning to go see Mummy III, but decided to fark it since it was too hard to get tickets (unless we want to sit in the first 3 rows in the theatre). Ended up watching a fairly stupid Cantonese movie called 我的最愛 (a.k.a My Beloved), starring Stephy and Alex Fong.

I thought the most interesting part of the story was when they talked about having substitute lovers. It started when a guy and a girl met each other cause they worked in the same area. Both of them were attached in a stable relationship, the guy was out with a girl thats slightly older than him and with a bad temper, the girl was attached to a young entrepreneur who provides her living means. As time passed, both had developed feelings towards one another, and they started this Substitute Lover contract between themselves. What it meant was, they will be each other's back up when their real other half were unable to be with them. They would meet up and have sex or do whatever, whenever their other 1/2 wasn't available. This continued for awhile until 1 day the guy no longer wanted to be the BACK UP and asked the girl to end things with her real bf. Of course, nothing its as easy as they seemed, the girl like the boy no doubt, but she was not willing to give up what she had with her young entrepreneur for him. (I guess we live in a realistic world and sometimes choosing between Love and Bread is extremely difficult, and most girls would prefer having Bread now days.)

I guess the example just proofs how sad this world had become, people who had found True Love merely make it their substitute or alternative. They rather be with someone that they don't really have feelings for, but merely for other means. I had encounter many examples of such relationships, and it never ends well.

I dedicate this post to my friends who are single and still searching for Love, please be strong, don't merely be with someone cause its convenient. Listen to you heart and have Faith.

Faith

faith   var interfaceflash = new LEXICOFlashObject ( "http://cache.lexico.com/d/g/speaker.swf", "speaker", "17", "18", "; interfaceflash.addParam("loop", "false"); interfaceflash.addParam("quality", "high"); interfaceflash.addParam("menu", "false"); interfaceflash.addParam("salign", "t"); interfaceflash.addParam("FlashVars", "soundUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.lexico.com%2Fdictionary%2Faudio%2Fluna%2FF00%2FF0019200.mp3"); interfaceflash.write(); // ]]> Audio Help   /feɪθ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[feyth] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

Stereotyping

Just had a funny conversation with a fellow xangan...it seems we generalise about people alot these days. Llike when reading Chinkzilla's post, he simply likes to go after korean girls base on a few known facts and that he thinks they are more compatible to his needs. Or like me, I had always hated intercultural relationships,  I just dont see a future when going out with a person with a complete different cultural background, in the end, it just too much work and too much compromises, and it totally disrupts the quality of the relationship, and thats something I wanted to avoid. During the conversation, my friend has a Japanese girlfriend, immediately, the first thing that pops up in my head was, "Wow, you must have a wonderful sex life!, my guy friends all wanted to have a relationship with japanese girls purely because they are wild in bed!"

However, instead of an agreement to my typical steretyping statement, his response was "you will be surprise that chinese girls are actually more wild in bed compare to most japanese!"

I was dumbfounded.

Maybe we stereotype too much.

Men from Mars:Women from Venus

I havent had a bad day at work for awhile, and I knew it would arrive someday when my luck runs out. For the past year, the job has been treating me well already, what more do I expect? However, for the past month, it seemed my luck has declined dramatically and it all started when my boss turned into a dramatic pycho moron, course he kinda got promoted.

You would think my manager would be estatic about his promotion, but he is a loser!!!so Frank's anxierty tripled and he let all that pressure out on me. Letting it out means calling my name every 15mins, repeating questions over and over again; asking me to call people chasing for answers and dont allow them time to investigate, correcting my emails when his english is 1000 times worse, asking me to draft emails, describing what he wants in cantonese, then when i am done, he tells me i am not really asking what he wants me to ask (i feel like saying, why dont you just write the damn email yourself?!). Honestly, I dont see myself as the best farking employee, but I had never felt so degraded and demotivated before, its like he questions your performance on every single task, not trusting me to do the simpliest thing since he even double checks if i had send out an urgent mail. Hey, if you are really that worried about my performace, why dont you just tell me? Dont patronise me!! I feel he needs to confront his issues and stop treating me like a primary school kid.

So last night, got off work around 7, had the worse farking day, with a headahce, I walked slowly to MTR station to meet R. When we were both on the train, R finally asked me why I look so grim, so i briefly told him what i just wrote above, note, it was not even that detailed! After hearing the whole story, he started compiling a detail action plan to what i should do tomorrow, basically, telling me to arrange a meeting with Frank, discuss the issues, letting him know whats bothering me etc etc.. he said, the best way to solve this, is really talking to him like a professional, he adds, there is no point Venting over things, the only way is to resolve it.

By then, my head was hurting 10 times more, I kind of knew he was going to tell me something similar: fix the problem, move forward, stop crying like a baby. Honestly, why do MEN always want to FIX things. Women just wants someone there to listen, they just want a few words of comfort and telling them everything is ok. Hey, I know nothing is really ok after hearing that, but then I just know my head wouldnt hurt like hell, and that I don't have to think about the issue right now (actually I just really want to procrasinate FOREVER on the issue !!!). The last thing i want to do is to talk to Frank, i just want to HIT him.

Of course, i do appreciate him, he is always trying to help me, and I am so glad I have someone to take care of me like that, but sometimes, women just prefer venting and not really fixing the problem. I am so glad I have my girlfriends for situations like this, they dont help you fix the problem, they just agree with you and also tells you what a loser Frank is! Although, their harsh comments on Frank doesnt make Frank a better manager, but it sure helped me with my headache and I can hear myself laughing again.

Names

I am not sure how many of the xangans (mainly the hk ones) out there I am gonna pissed off, but i had thought about this topic for awhile, and I think its time to put into writing.

I understand most hk'ies make up their own english name since most chinese parents only grant their children their chinese name on their birth cert (I guess I am one of the rare ones when my English name Jo is really my english name on my birth cert). You would think these people would have nice english names right? Since it is not forced on them and that they have a choice to choose something they like, the thing I dont understand is how someone can Like names like ROCK, CASH, DICKSWELL, FANNY, GREEN or GUCCI?

Green is a funny one, the metality behind HER name is because of her last name been Yip. Yip is LEAF in chinese, so she thought its nice to be called Green Yip which meant litreally Green Leaf. As soon as i heard that explanation, i cracked myself, i am sorry girl, but thats got to be the worse gag ever, i guess some guys might think its cute, just not sure how long for though.

Dickswell was discovered when i was still in sydney working at SS. SS had great data bases, and 1 of them was to search all employees around the globe. Since most the time we were bored shitless doing nothing, me and another friend often entertained ourselves by typing in KEY WORDS to search people out, some words like Shit, loser, moron and of cos DICK. Dick was quite a popular choice in APAC, lots of DICKS came out, but DickSWELL tops it off, and he is located in one and only HONG KONG. I kinda felt ashame to be from the same place as this dickface!

Fanny is typical in Hong Kong, i guess most wouldnt think its wierd or absurd, but it is absurd to me when fanny means cunt/pussy where i grew up ^c*

does anyone else know anyone with wierd ass name!?

Library

today is Monday, it is already very depressing and its gets worse when you know 2 people from work are on annual leave having a long weekend, 1 called in sick, so there is only 4 sitting outside today. It is as quiet as a library here, reminds me of uni times when i forced myself to study there for my final exams. This gets worse when i just went through my entire handbag and realise i forgot to bring my ipod today.........arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

no headphones = no Youtube and No Radio

how am i surviving for the rest of the afternoon......

Duran Duran

It is so annoying having a manager who acts like a women, he is always so STRESS out about his work, and its obvious he can't hold himself together when there are things that needs to be done quickly. Dont get me wrong, he is actually a very nice manager (can take sick leave without him hasseling you for a Doc Cert, granting my annual leave without too much questions or concenrs..), it just he gets on my nerves too often and i get very edgy over it.

One of the worse things he does is calling my name every 10 seconds, asking me things that he had already asked a few million tims before.. or reminding me to do stuff which i already KNOW. Hello i am not in PRIMARY SCHOOL!! just farking remind me when i am not handing shxt in on deadline, not every 5 seconds. And the way he calls my name drives me insane. he dont say "Joanne.. have done xxxx.", instead, he will be saying " Joanne Joanne.. have u done xxx.".. and every 10 seconds onwards, all I will be hearing is Joanne Joanne, one after another.. repeating itself like the HOWL of  HELL HOUNDS and chasing me down!!!.. Y MUST YOU SAY MY NAME CONSECUTIVELY, why isnt it "Joanne" then FULL STOP.

Somehow he made my name sounding like Duran Duran (since my manager cant pronounce names properly either, he pronounce ALICE for ALEX.. -_-). Really want to tell him to fark off if he does it 1 more time, but once again, thats all in my head, as that is no freaking way to treat your immdiate boss!!!...

maybe i should start writing here instead  - http://www.duranduran.com/main.html

10

2008 marks the 10th year anniversiary for J & R.

Its wierd to think time can go pass us so quickly.. sometimes it scares me how much we had been through together to arrive to this current stage in life. There were rough spots, but i guess our relationship had always grew stronger in time. I am a romatic, and i always perferred the long lasting kind of relationship comparing to any passionate kind that only last as long as a blink of an eye. Having a soul mate is important in any marriage and I am lucky to have found him.

I was very surprise on Saturday, as R gave me a present for our 10th year anniversiary. Its a ring, and its the 2nd ring i received from him (not counting the 1 for proposal) since we first met. He said its about time to give me the 2nd one. I guess R gave a whole new meaning to "CELEBRATION RINGS", for Tiffany, its celebrating every year hehe or any other occasion, but in our case, its every 10 years! I actually dont mine this, i think its very symbolic and i am glad he remember and made effort about it. R can be very sweet in a practicle sense, i guess I just need to be extraordinary to understand his romantic gesture!

Note: Happy birthday Ami!!! may all your wishes come true!

Marry Young

this is sort of a follow up post to the last one, want to say,  younger man marrying older women does exist, the guy is even willingly making commitment to her and not merely for the sake of trying out older women. i was extremely surprise that there is true love with a large age gap.

The question here is, can true love over-ride all problems associated with a age gap marriage? When 2 people seem to be on a constant time lag, will it turn into a communication break down. examples of problems include: 1) Younger husband has loads of energy to do more things, namely, drinks after work, partying after work, (probably want more sex), anything after work but HOME, comparing to older women who already went past the stage of seeing Friends every week night, and that they just prefer a quiet evening at home, watching dvd, you put the 2 together = constant arguing about what they want to do daily. 2) Can younger husband bare the responsibility of fatherhood, when in general, men tend to MATURE much later than women, but his wife would already want to have a child, as her biological clock is totally ticking and practically screaming out to her to get freaking pregnant before its too late!! What to do!? how to solve?! I personally have no clue.3)Priorities of things to do, this is always an issue, (younger)husband will probably like to spend all his money on anything, clothes, races, soccer, stupid figurines and toys.. i guess they are not all that keen about savings...investment.. retirement.. whatever! i know i wasn't thinking about these things when i was 24 haa..i was thinking about holidays.. new gucci.. a new pair of louboutins (ok maybe only marc jacobs then)...the (more mature)wife will probably be worried to death about the finances.. cos she knows she don't want to work forever, cos working is just so freaking tiring.. when can they ever afford HER not working... or when can working not be about making a living.. it is an rather an action where one can waste time and making a few extra dollars for vanities.. can the guy take the heat, work hard, climb up the ladder faster than average, and get the ultimate Golden Employment Package to free the wife from the rest of the working class?

this list can go on forever. but i am tired..

Ultimately, will True Love suffice in these marriage?

Dating

is wierd to think not only guy loves dating and never want to be in a serious relationship, i have a girlfriend who prefers dating then having something stable too (eventhough she always say she wants to get marry..) actually what i should be saying it.. my girlfriend is wierd for always wanting to date instead of having something stable since she is close to 30! ... BUT the question is, why should casual dating be WIERD for women close to 30s, and why should they incline to feel the need of MARRIAGE at all!?

I guess the unfair thing is, a guy can be 30, 40 or 50 above and still go date (and mainly only with 20+ years olds) and i am sure guys who enjoys dating never really think about getting marry!... BUT when they are ready for the next stage, there are usually a few girls who are willing to be that bride, see how they have CHOICES, and not just 1 suitor.. but a few.... of cos here, i am giving an example of 1 eligible bachelor, he is only independant and have a stable career (i am not even going to say having his own aprt, looking like daniel wu or have over 1 million in savings), and he will already have a few girls waiting for him to go after them...

for a girl, as we creep up the scary aging ladder, and if she is still single, her chances of finding a suitbale bachelor gets to zero. Although, i think most of these girls dont try looking for younger guys (many of you may be surprise to see how younger men likes to try out older women (its like every men goes through that stage once in their life time)), note how i say they like TRYING OUT older women, cause, at the end of the day, the guy snaps out of the stage and he realise he rather be screwing a 20 year old from now on. Women who have a good career suffers most, men who can match her ability are already RARE, let alone single. Somehow, having a great career in a woman's life ends up a curse for having NO MEN.

with the above analysis, i think its defn not wierd for my friend to casually date, at least with casual dating, no one is really disappointing anyone, she wont be disappointed to find out he will never want to get marry.. she wont be disappointed if he goes date someone younger after her, since she herself is also seeing mulitple other guys and everyone is just having fun. Why go through having herself involved seriously with someone when men tend to be a big disppointment 98% of the time! I get so frustrated with my husband at times but then i can only VENT on xanga, instead of go date some other kid like my friend! lucky her!!!